Friday, July 24, 2009

Macho Men and Decorating?

Why is it that men think they are decorators the minute they get engaged or married? Does a marriage license also mean they have a license to be a decorator?

My mother firmly believed that this is what men truly believe, and I suppose, if you look at most couples, their first homes do reflect this. Did you ever notice what people buy for furniture when they are first together ends up delegated to family rooms or basements later on? If you think about it, girls are really raised to coordinate and put things together, from dressing dolls and doll houses, picking out clothes, and in general experience the "finer" side of life. Boys are running outside playing ball, cops and robbers and generally learning how to be more macho. Now I know today's young parents are trying to change that trend, but most guys over 30 fit the afore mentioned bill.

I have seen many situations in my experience where what the wife want and what the husband wants are completely at opposite poles. Women want pretty things. Art that expresses, flowers, pillows. vases, candles, etc. Men want to show off their stuff. Models, military and sports memorabilia, collections of baseball cards, pictures of motorcycles, etc. Most women do not want to look at that stuff.

Well there is a way for both of you to have what you want. The living room can be her room and the family room his. If you don't have a family room, often a spare bedroom is great for his "den". Men love having "his own room", and men usually like more casual rooms, so this makes a great solution. My family room is decorated around my husband's likes and is nothing like me. The living room is more me, and the dining room was a complete combined effort.

When I decorate common areas, that is, areas used by both the husband and wife, the choices are things she likes,(although on a few occaisons he was actually better at this than her, so he does the choosing) with keeping his preferences in mind. Then all of her choices, usually 2 or 3, are presented to him and the one he prefers is the way we go. Most women know what he won't like and those are eliminated immediately. Everyone is happy.

My husband's tastes have refined over the 38 years we've been together and some lucky women have men that have an inherent good taste. And even luckier is the woman that has a guy that has bad taste and knows it, consequently leaving those decisions to her. Any way you look at, his tastes can't be all bad. He chose you, didn't he?

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